Wrestling with Faith

How many times have you questioned God about why something is happening to you?  Why you were going through this terrible trial?  Why was He not getting you out of it or changing the circumstances in your favor?  So often we wonder if He’s even paying attention at all or if He just doesn’t care about us and we feel so alone and often confused.  The thoughts occur to us that our faith isn’t good enough or else He would answer our prayers.

 

Personally, I’ve wrestled with my faith a few times.  One time I was so distraught and angry that I told God I was done with Him.  I shook my fist at Him and told myself none of it was real.  He wasn’t real and everything I’ve believed about Him, well that too was all a fabrication.  Things at that time in my life were not making any sense, especially because I had been so faithful to God and I was asking, seeking and knocking as He told us to and yet there was silence….no reply to my petitions.  

As I sat down after clenching my fists at the air and spewing words of disappointment to an empty audience, I collapsed in my chair, dropped my head forward, sighed and became silent.  It was very early in the morning and the only sounds around me were the house creeks.  Then….a still, small voice spoke to my mind.  It sounded like my own inner voice, but it didn’t belong to me.  “Are you finished?” it asked.  Not condemning, but kind of like a parents voice of love and authority.  I took in another sigh and spoke audibly and defeated, “yes.”   Then came the Words….the many I had read for years in my private devotions to the Lord.  They flooded my mind, soul and spirit as though they were living and breathing and pouring new life into my very being.  There was something not natural taking place in that moment of my absolute defeat and despair.  Something supernatural was occurring – God was revealing Himself to me through His Truth.  Like a bubbling brook or a deep spring it just poured upwards into all of me like refreshing waters to a parched ground. 

“Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Me.“  “My ways are not your ways, nor are my thoughts your thoughts, but as the Heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways and my thoughts higher than yours.” And many more that spoke to my life at that time.  He WAS with me, just as He said “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  Yet, I did not understand why He stood so silent when I had believed and needed Him so much.  Not then anyway, but later I did.  Later everything made sense.  Later I received my answers.  They were just around the corner but I was ready to give up and throw it all away because of my own disbelief and impatience.  I thought He should have done things my way and misunderstood that it is always best to wait upon the Lord to do things His way.  But so often we think our way IS His way, but more often than not that is just not the case.

Jesus is the Rock and as we stand on Him
 He will hold us up through the storms of life.
Those are His hands coming out of the rock.
(This is part of a sculpture I made a few years back)

This occurred a few years ago and although I have not wrestled nearly as bad as that time, I have still wrestled and every time I do I am reminded again and again that I am His creation, not Him and although I am adopted into God’s family and am now His child, He IS still the Father, God of ALL creation who is not bound by time or sin and death.  When I slip into a lack of faith I make myself remember Who God is and who I am to Him and boldly and confidently come before His throne and ask Him for strength to endure; to trust, and to wait patiently while His plan works itself out in my life and in the lives of those around me.  Even now I am waiting still as my family has been in a dark, dark storm for several years.  What keeps me going?  His Truth.  I confess it out of my mouth daily.  I may not “feel” it, but I speak it regardless because His Truth is not limited to my emotions.  No His Truth is the rock I stand on to keep me from being tossed into the storms of life.  I’m not saying I don’t get knocked around, wind -blown, wet, cold, lonely, discouraged or even doubt, but because my feet are firmly planted on the Rock of Christ, He won’t let me fall into the torrential sea.  It’s the promise of Who God is that I hold on to and not my own understanding of the situation.  Is this easy? NO!  But Jesus never said it would be easy. 

Too often we blame God for the atrocities in our world.  There is so much darkness and despair, pain and suffering and we wonder how He could just let it happen.  But He doesn’t let it happen.  He gave us free will and lets us choose for ourselves.  Our world is fallen.  That means creation is fallen…all of creation, from the plants, the animals and to all of mankind.  We are born in sin because the world is fallen.  I think we forget that part.  We hear of the miracles of Christ occurring throughout the world in other’s lives and we want that in ours as well.  I too question God and ask Him why there are not more healings in the Church Body to show His power and glory on the earth.  He does not answer me.  But, what I am learning is that I must remember what He HAS done in my life and in the lives of those around me.  We must remember the times He took care of us, healed us, provided for us and even embraced us with His comfort and protection.  Otherwise we become like the Hebrews who were delivered from Egypt and forgot all that God delivered them from.  What they failed to understand was that it was through their wilderness experience God was trying to make them better people.  He was trying to get the Egypt out of their hearts and get their hearts to be more like His own. 

When we forget all that He has done we begin to wrestle with our faith.  We must remember and stand on His Truth, even when nothing makes sense around us.  What we don’t understand in our lives now, one day we will.  Whether in this life time or the next, but until then, to keep hope alive remember the times God revealed His love to you, even if all you have is the salvation you received at the Cross of Calvary.  Shouldn’t that alone be enough?  God loves us….God loves you.  He…loves…you….

This is written for all the “religious” family we have out there in the world

Where does your theology lead you?  How does your dogma invite the lost into the Family of God?  How is it your version of the Bible, or your denominational titles are being a light in the world?  How did you get so far off track from the path you started?  People, “religion” does not save men.  Do not think that your billboards telling passerby’s that you read from the King James Version (not that there is anything wrong with this version, it's just an example I am using because I see it on church billboards so frequently) is going to save a single soul.  Or that your programs will entice the lost when the world sees how God’s people are divided! 

How do you not see that your religion has become an idol around your own necks?!  You spend more time condemning and criticizing other children of God for loving on people as Jesus did because your views on the scriptures are skewed.  There is a void of love in your religion that pushes people away from God rather than drawing them to Him!  

When did Jesus ever take the Word of God and use it as a hammer of condemnation over men’s hearts?!  When did he turn up his nose towards sinners and act disgusted?  Did He enter into the tax collectors house (which also was full of prostitutes) and scream at them that they were going to hell because they were “sinners!”   Did He yell at his disciples and condemn them for their uniqueness or for having their own style of ministering to others?  Where did Jesus say that only the Baptists, or the Lutherans, or the Presbyterians, or the Pentecostals or the charismatics, or the Methodists and so forth had the only true theology?  The Jesus I studied was full of compassion on the lost and loved them with such kindness and respect that they were drawn to Him and recognized their own hunger for the Truth.  They knew somehow that they could receive something from Him they could not get from the religious of their time.  He offered them hope and shared a gospel message that had never been heard before.  Well it was not new but He shared the heart of the Father concerning the Laws of Moses and lived a life that completed and complemented the Truth to help people, not hinder them.  Jesus gave people hope that they could find forgiveness for their sins by living the life of Truth and Love. 

Jesus was also not passive when it came to the Truth.  He did not fear the religious or even the lost but stood on the Word of God while walking in the Love of God.  There are religions who would rather turn the cheek to the gospel so as not to offend man and have allowed “sin” into their congregations, and their teachings are pleasing to itching ears rather than hungry hearts or their doctrines are watered down.  We cannot condemn sinners but we cannot condone sin in God’s sanctuary either.  We are God’s sanctuary on the earth and our own lives must be cleansed before we can attempt to help another who is bound in sin.  We cannot be passive, apathetic hypocrites.  This means we cannot water down the Truth to suit our own desires to be popular with the world!  This is also not the Church as she was meant to be! 

God’s doctrine is sound and just and He is able to protect the integrity of His Word no matter the denomination as long as it is His Truth and not a derivative of another man’s ideas on the Truth.  This is how cults are formed and people are lead into deception.  There is so much dissension in the Body of Believers because of men’s attitudes towards people.  We are NOT to use the Truth to imprison people brothers!!!!  The Truth is to set the captives free!  God is the Truth and God is Love and all those who are in God are also in Love.  Whoever claims to love but hates his brother is deceived and God’s love is not in him! 

My point?  How can the lost in the world see God in the Body when the Body is like a lampstand outside full of dirt and dead bugs and our light is dim at best?!  WE MUST clean our lamps with the Love of God’s Truth and purify our hearts in Christ Jesus so that we can illuminate in these dark times!  It’s God’s Love that transforms the world through the Church, not any version of the Bible, or denomination or theology.  We are saved by grace alone through the blood of Christ in his death and resurrection.  If we can all agree on this and set aside our dogmatic differences and unite under this Truth alone then, and only then can we be the salt of the earth, a lampstand on a hill and vessels of righteousness.  Only then can the world finally see Jesus in us and through us.  God’s love changed us and convicted us of our own sinfulness and it seems we have forgotten what it was like to have been lost. 

Love, not condemnation (for God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world but to save it through Him) will reveal God’s mercy and compassion to man.  Love, not criticism will heal the wounds of the lost.  Love with grace and mercy will expand the Kingdom of Heaven.  We must unite brethren if we’re to complete the mission at hand as the Church (The body of believers, aka the Bride of Christ).  We have been adopted into God’s family and we must stop the sibling rivalry and stand together in Christ Jesus as a family. 

Sadly, some of those “religious” will find something wrong with even this plea and condemn me to hell because many are waxed cold in love and are themselves now blinded to the Truth just as the Pharisees were.  The worst part of deception is that the deceived don't realize they are deceived. God help us all and forgive us our absurdities and foolishness of thinking.  Raise up Your People to be a beacon of light in the world; reflections of Your Love and glory to those groping around in the darkness.  Draw them to Your Light Lord that they may be saved!  Break our hearts with what breaks Yours Lord.

Onward Christian Soldier!

Believe in God because He's bigger than our circumstances. Do not allow your mind to entertain the negative and dark thoughts that try to enter in and destroy the peace of God! Take them captive to the obedience of Christ and think on things that are good, noble, admirable, praiseworthy, righteous, lovely, pure or excellent - think on these instead!

Remember, our battle is NOT against flesh and blood! We do not wrestle against the captives, but against their captors - those evil soldiers we cannot see in the natural, except by their evil influence on humanity.

You are NOT defeated! We are MORE than conquerors in Christ Jesus! We are already the victors, seated with Christ next to the Father in Heaven! Here we are advancing the Kingdom of Heaven! Our time, your time is right now! Where God resides it is already finished! So find hope that you will be able to stand against your enemies!

God directs the steps of His faithful ones! Find confidence in His faithfulness, not in your ability or lack of ability. He is able to do above and beyond all we can see or even comprehend. He set time in place and see's the beginning through to the end.

He has chosen you to run this race and He is waiting to give you your crown! Do not be afraid and trust God to keep His promises to be your guard and strength, your help in times of trouble and that He will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus!

Be thankful in all things and the God of all glory will guard your heart and mind with the peace that surpasses all understanding in Christ.

Now take up your shield; stand fully armored holding up your sword and on His command be ready, and advance the Kingdom!

Onward Christian Soldier!!  

Coping with the storms of life

Rain storms can be a good thing for our environment.  They are a necessity for nature.  Lightening provides nitrogen; rain nourishes and cleanses the earth.  There's many more benefits of storms but I'm not going to get into all of that here.  But what about the storms of life and the parallels from natures storms and our own?

Some have said (myself included) that they love a good thunderstorm.  This is certainly true when I am tucked safely in my home.  But driving in such a storm can bring on deep anxiety and stress.  A thunderstorm can put a damper on outside events because it can bring unexpected dangers.  Our first response with such storms is to find safety.  Whether getting out of the water when there's lightening or pulling off the road when the rain is falling so hard your vision is limited.  Whatever the situation we all instinctly protect ourselves from natures severe thunder storms.

What about the storms of life?  How does one prepare for those?  I don't know that we can, but rather get through them and wait them out.  Many of us have encountered many storms in our lives from financial strains and losses, to death, illness, disease, accidents, crimes, etc.  Yet, more often then not, most of us tend to get through them one way or another.  Still, there are so many emotions we encounter in the meantime:  fear, frustration, anger, confusion, sorrow, grief, anxiety, discouragement, hopelessness and more I'm sure.  How do we cope?  How do we allow ourselves to "feel" without letting our feelings take over?

Lord, my prayer to You is for peace through the storms of life.  It's so easy to get so focused on the circumstances that we lose our peace and get tossed around like wild waves in an hurricane.  You are the Lighthouse on the Rock I look to in the midst of the chaos, and I pray that as You call out to me in the darkness of the storm that I can hear and turn towards Your light.  Instead of fighting and kicking the torrential waves, help me to ride them until I am safe in Your presence, standing on a firm foundation.  I pray for hope to illuminate my heart and mind so I can with confidence trust the sun will shine on me again.

Lord, we can't avoid the storms of life because they just happen.  But my heart asks of Yours to be merciful and patient towards my own when I struggle with doubt and discouragement.  My promise to You is that I will praise you through the storms and trust You work all things out for the good to those who love you.  Thank You for the seasons in our lives that cultivate faith, trust, hope and courage.  Thank You for Your promise that no matter how dark our trials are You will never leave us or forsake us.  Although we may not understand, we can have peace in knowing You see the greater picture...the finished one.

What does God look like through you?

"If you don't know God He will probably look like you."

How true could this be?  What does God look like to the world in the Western World?  I suppose it depends on who you are looking at?  Main stream picks up on a harsh, judgmental and mean God who is cruel and unforgiving.  I believe this because I see the hatred towards believers - or those who believe they are Christians  of good intent.  Reading comments on news articles online are a great place to view the hostility.  Can we fault the world for seeing the "Church" through angry eyes and tainted glasses?  Who made them that way?

What have we done as a people who are called by His name?  We have been adopted into a family that was not our own and not received our birth right through our adoption.  We received the new name but not the inheritance.  We have moved into our new Home but have not taken time to get to truly know our new Father. We are distrusting and distant;  selfish and not wanting to really change.  We read His words and miss the intent of His heart because we listen not to His Spirit.

What is God telling us in His word?  He's telling us that He loves us.  That He does not want to condemn us, but that He desires to save us and unite us in Heaven with and through His son!  BUT...we're NOT listening as a whole!  Brothers and sisters of the Kingdom, I appeal to you to look at Jesus again and again and again until you see He is LOVE personified.  He is our example.  He wants to instill His heart into ours.  WHERE did He condemn anyone when He walked the earth?  When did He throw the sins of the people in their faces and shame them?  No, no, no!  He was received by those around Him because of His Love and Compassion.

When we leave our homes each day people should see God as He is when watching us.  We should be different in our behaviors than everyone else.  When we look at others we should look through God's eyes of compassion and Love and not our own.  His eyes will always see differently than ours.  But how we do this is by having that personal and intimate relationship with Him.  We CAN come boldly to the throne of the Creator of all things through His Son.  We can be ourselves and allow Him to work Himself into our lives.  We NEED to for the sake of millions of souls missing out on the greatest gift given to mankind from God Himself....salvation...eternal life and freedom.

It is not right for one to hoard for themselves what God intended to be distributed throughout the world.  When we fail to love as He loves us we are not the light in the world, but rather are static causing shorts all around us.

Lord, please help us to draw nearer to You.  Give us courage to step away from the gates of Your Kingdom and to boldly come into Your presence to receive Your great love so that we may go out into all the world and share it to others.  Let us be the reflection of Your Son and a true bright light drawing others into Your Family!

Judging is not loving

There is a division among mankind.  We are divided by a line of judgment.  What is it we judge?  Better yet would be to ask what is it we don’t judge?  Ethnicity, color, size, shape, ability, political affiliation, familial status, religion, beliefs, etc., etc., etc.  And the list extends too far for eye to see.  Generations of children are trained to continue the traditions of isolation and contentment, adding greater layers of brick to a dividing wall of great magnitude. 

Throughout history many have come along and lead a parade of followers who attempted to tear down those walls and yet they were destroyed by those clothed in masks of judgment.  One greatest among them all was Jesus….Son of Man, Son of God…God made mere man to show us how to live to our fullest potential.  What was His message?  Love! 

What type of love did this infamous Man-God teach us?  What example did He set before us through His own life?  Have His followers destroyed any walls with the mighty hammer of Love He passed on to us? 

Jesus taught us to Love our God and to Love our neighbor as ourselves.  Yet we say we Love God but then curse those made in His image.  We love those who make us feel good or meet our approval.  We are creatures of conditional love and magnificent individual judge and juries.  We condemn without forethought and critique what we do not understand and fear.  This is just “our way”.  “Our sins are not as bad as their sins!”  Yet, where is Jesus in all of this?  In Christianity we use God’s Word like a hammer to crush “sin” out of people, yet in reality we are crushing them with blows of judgment and condemnation.  Isn’t there “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus?” Aren’t we only to judge in the same manner we ourselves wish to be judged?  Let’s rephrase this:  Aren’t we to love in the same manner we ourselves wish to be loved and HAVE been loved?   

Sadly we as followers of “The Way” have lost our way.  We have segregated ourselves in walled towers all the while peering out of little windows and throwing rocks at all who pass by.  If Jesus were to return today would He find us about our Father’s business, or look at our thick walled towers and wonder who lives within such prison walls? 

What is our Father’s business we are to be about?  Well, if we look closely at Jesus’ life we can see it right in front of us.  We’re to be about loving others.  He did not discriminate whom He loved.  He loved the whole world – even those who persecuted Him and killed Him.  He told us to do the same…to love our enemies…to do good to those who persecute us….to show compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience, meekness, grace and mercy towards all.  Aren’t all men made in God’s image?  If we are to love God then aren’t we to love men as well?  Not just those who are kind to us, but even those who aren’t so kind?  Then we can transform the world as Jesus intended us to do.  If the world is to hate us for being like Jesus then that’s on them.  But, if they hate us for being hypocrites than that’s on us. 

Lord, please open our eyes to see our hearts and our behaviors.  Forgive us for being so blind to our judgmental attitudes towards those You have fashioned in Your image.  Soften our hearts with Your love so that we can share that love with others, especially those who are not so easy to love.  Let us remember that we were once just as unlovely and yet You shared Your love with us.  Help us to remember our mission and to step out of our comfort zones…stepping out of those towers of isolation and into the fields of humanity.  May we be a people about our Father’s business…a people of Light, Love and Truth towards all we come in contact with on a daily basis.  Make us courageous lovers just as You were courageous to love us when we were not willing to love You in return.  

Questions

How do we know?  How do we know when something is a divine appointment or merely a coincidence?  Can we know for certain when something is received from God or merely the creativity of our imaginations?  How come it seems some are on the right path because things are going so well for them and others, though of noble character, may seem slighted on the path they are on?  What is the difference?  So many questions in a life of faith, yet so few answers.  Why does faith have to be so complicated? 

Did Abraham wonder about that night he and God spoke under the stars?  Were the questions running through his head if it even really happened or if it was even God at all?  How did his waiting affect his daily walk with God?  What about his daily life with his family and friends?  Did discouragement ever enter his heart?

Did Joseph (NT) know for sure it was an angel that appeared to him in a dream about Mary being impregnated by the Holy Spirit?  After all it was only a dream and don’t we all dream?  How could he know for sure if it was divine or just his own wishful  subconscious because of his love for Mary? 

A confident teenage Joseph seemed so certain of his purpose in life following a dream; yet, he was betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery!  How was he able to look at his life as being blessed when all the while he was really a slave?  For years he waited before he saw some real favor in his life…maybe even with the fulfillment of his interpretation of Pharoahs’ dreams about the famine in Egypt.  How did he keep his faith?

How does anyone keep their faith and continue to step out in the unknown of the prophetic, the unknown and the waiting periods of life? How do we discern what is Your voice from our own and even those from the outside?  How do we continue living a life of faith when waiting sees no end in sight to fulfillment? 

Lord, encourage our hearts with a love that trusts deeply even when our own reasoning confuses us.  Let us stand on Your character and faithfulness when ours lacks and falters.  Carry us when we collapse from discouragement and restore a renewed strength to hope so we can take a stand on Your promises. Draw us into Your word in such a way that it flows through our veins and is the life blood of who we are.  We need to always remain hopeful, but without Your Spirit to quench our thirst we become parched in a wilderness of despair.  Only You Lord can call water from the rock in the barrenness of our soul. Please forgive us when we doubt, and renew our faith!  There is hope; there is power; and there life in Your name Lord Jesus.

I wish…

By Holly Fisher

I wish…

I had the words to say,

Words to take the pain away,

Words to lighten a heart so gray

But I haven’t any words to say.

I wish…

            There was something I could do,

            Something meaningful just for you,

            Something so you wouldn’t feel so blue,

            But I can’t think of what I can do.

I wish…

            Your days would always be sunny,

            And your life would be sweet like honey,

            That you could live with all in harmony

            But where would go your testimony?

I wish…

            For you only the very best,

            For you to find a time of rest,

            That your life wouldn’t be such a test,

            But it’s through these times you’ll be blessed.

I wish…

            Your heart could see past the pain,

            That you could believe it’s not in vain,

            That through the trials you’ve much to gain,

            But from your anger you must refrain.

I wish…

            That one day you’ll understand,

            That your life had been in God’s hand,

            He hasn’t left you alone to stand,

            And His plan for your life is far more grand.

I wish…

            That you’ll keep praying for hope,

            And through the trials you’ll continue to cope,

            That you’ll remember this when you mope,

            And look beyond the moment with hope.

I’ve no more wishes to wish for you,

For I’m lifting your life to one so True.

He’s the only One who can help you thru,

And makes every morning bright and new.

Compassion

Pain does not discern between causes.  Whether the pain of tragedy, disease or a broken relationship, it all hurts the same.  The heart does not differentiate from one or the other.  The ache is the same.  The tears are all wet;  the sorrow is felt in the pit of the womb, and the heart still feels like it’s cracking open. 

More often than not we live in our little parts of the world about our business and things are just fine.  But somewhere in other parts of the world, maybe even as close as next door, there is a cloud of sorrow indwelling.  In other places there is rejoicing, celebration, excitement.  When one person is hurting not everyone hurts.  When some are celebrating, a wedding for instance, others are grieving over the loss of a loved one.  There are people falling in love at one place and others breaking apart in another.  A baby is born and a baby is lost.  Tragedy, rejoicing, sorrow, joyfulness…at the same time in different places. 

Some how it feels wrong to be happy when others are sad.  But when I look at the goodness of the Lord and see how He cries when we cry, laughs when we laugh and rejoices when we celebrate it makes me think.  God is aware of all of the injustices, all of the sorrows and of all the joys in the world.  He knows of every man, woman and child and their circumstances.  He can step into each life at the same time.  He simultaneously weeps, laughs, grieves and rejoices with us. Who can fathom such compassion and love? 

Compassion is to cry with others who are crying;  to laugh with those who are rejoicing; to hope with those who are praying; to stand alongside of our neighbors in whatever season they are in, just as Christ does with us.  We can’t be in all places at one time, but we can look around us right where we are at and open our eyes to see if there are those near us who are in need.  Sometimes the need is someone to share their tears, their hurts, their fears, their good news, bad news, answered prayers, prayer requests or whatever it may be.  Sometimes we all just need some compassion, not correction or instruction, just someone who cares.   Can we be willing to take on the sorrows of others when we are celebrating?  Can we still rejoice in the blessings of God while others are suffering? 

Lord, help us to be sensitive to those around us, but to also show gratitude for the seasons of joy in the lives of others as well as our own.  When sorrow comes to our lives bring others alongside of us to share in our heart aches as we share in theirs.  Let us live lives of love and compassion towards all we encounter. Help us to see the opportunities before us that we may reflect Your love light.  Give us eyes to see the seasons in the people around us.  Give us the same compassion in our hearts that is in Yours.

Abandonment

Listening to a lonely dog howling this morning and my heart felt sorrow for this poor pup who was abandoned by her owners.  Red tape and laws create more isolation for this throw away friend.  As we approach her she runs away and hides from those who would try to help her.  It doesn’t make sense when she is so lonely.  Yet, it makes perfect sense.  She longs for her family to return for her.  Hopefully they will get here soon she thinks. She is hungry, thirsty and alone.  Too scared to go out to those who approach her with a helping hand of love and kindness. 

How often are we like this poor dog?  Do we not all experience abandonment at different points in our lives?  Abandoned by those who professed to love us, by those we trusted.  Love we had escapes our hearts and we are left feeling empty and alone.   Sometimes our own hearts abandon us.  We lose our confidence, our dreams, our aspirations and hopes, and are left reeling in doubt and discouragement.   Questions plague our minds.  Understanding and reason haunt our thoughts day and night.    

Abandonment puts up walls around our hearts to guard us against others we fear will do the same.  Fear and distrust become close companions but to our own demise.  We don’t always understand the why’s or how’s because most often, life doesn’t share the answers to its tests.

God, You said you would never leave us or abandon us.  If we were to go to the highest heavens You would be there.  Should we reach down to the deepest depths, there You would be also.  There is no hiding from Your presence.  In these times of abandonment when we feel alone, heart- broken, confused and lost, may we feel You right beside us.  May we find comfort in knowing that Your eye is always on us, that Your heart is ever loving us, and that there is hope in healing from these wounds that scar us.  Help us to not to be afraid, but to step out in courage and continue to take risks, knowing we could be hurt again.  Let us be so confident in Your faithfulness that we knock down those walls of isolation and distrust and live vulnerable to those around us.  Without faith it is impossible to please You.  Help us wounded warriors live with such faith that we can press into You through the heart ache of abandonment and take that pain and use it to love more passionately, live more fully, and trust more than is reasonable.  Help us to never lose hope in humanity and to see others through eyes of mercy.  May we not lean on our own understanding but trust You in everything.  Remind us that we are never alone.

To The Test

To the Test

by Holly Fisher

Casting shadows over the mind

   would be a tactic of fear.

My God will not leave me blind

   for my heart to His is sincere.

His glory must be upon this life

   for an attack of such proportion.

My faith shall not yield to tormented strife -

   my trust is placed with great caution.

I'll delight and claim His victory is mine

   when the darkness shows its fear.

For I know His light brightly shines

   and His angels armed are quite near!

Swords of holy ones will pierce the black night

   making way for his servant to grow.

Defeated, the enemy flees with fright

   no longer a deceptive friend, but a foe.

Alas the territory is mine for the taking

   For He has promised to lead me through.

He has prepared it for a great awakening,

   and new hearts he desires to deliver and pursue.

Hoping and desiring to walk in obedience

   Ready to serve and do as He leads.

Living and seeing His glory evidenced

   through lives changed is what I plead.

I rejoice in His promises soon to manifest

   and delight in giving thanksgiving.

For through darkness He has put me to the test

   so to be prepared for this life I am living!

A drop of light

As I was sitting at the dining room table this morning and battling discouragement, about to toss in the towel of my faith I glanced out my window at something that caught my eye. I saw a blinding little light in the tree in our yard. Something clicked in my spirit and heart at that precise moment and gave me hope again.

It's so easy to feel invisible in this world. A grain of sand lost in the sands of time. Feeling like we make no difference in this world of 7 plus billion people. Yet, the sands touch together. We as people are all affected by each other. Every grain of sand rubs against others.

This little bright twinkling light in the morning sun shared some encouragement with me. This little droplet of water was reflecting the radiant light of the great sun. I could see it in the bright daylight. There were no others to witness this little day time reflector, but I believe it was just meant for me to see. Maybe it was a strange coincidence but it returned to my heart hope. That in all things, as we reflect the Lord's light in this world, we can make a difference by touching the life of just one person. By this we've doubled our portion. Maybe then that person can light up and affect another and now our portion is tripled. And so forth.

My point is it's impossible to not impact the world we live in even as a lone grain of sand or a lone droplet of water. Whether we are rubbing up against someone and causing friction or being a reflection of the Light of the world we make a difference.

Lord let my light shine because You are my source. Forgive my faithlessness and help me to remain faithful when hopelessness abounds around me like a wild storm. Encourage my eyes to gaze towards Your glory so that I may reflect Your light right where You have placed me in this world.   

Invasion of the Peace Snatchers

Some days you can go along and be "minding" your own business and whistling joyfully and you feel no cares at the moment  when suddenly out of nowhere this thought pops into your head that steals your peace, stops your joy and your whistle is no more.  Your peaceful and happy thoughts turn into thoughts of rejection, or maybe fear, or anger, or resentment or whatever.  Your mood turns from happy to crappy in an instant.

Too often we can keep on that path of negativity and it can ruin our entire day, maybe week and in many cases our relationships.  We have those imaginary conversations with those we are directing our thoughts towards.  Sometimes it's ourselves and we become emotionally self-condemning and naturally we will withdraw from those around us.  Where do these thoughts come from?  How do they invade our minds so quickly and change the direction of our days without us even realizing it?  How can we battle these alien hosts that invade our thoughts and steal our peace and stomp on our joy?

I will not give credit to the evil that berates but rather I will focus on how to overcome their dissension and refraction. Think about what you're thinking about!  Notice!  Pay attention!  And FIGHT to keep your peace!  We don't have to receive the garbage.  We can choose to counterattack with good thoughts.  We can rethink with good things.  Peace is worth the battle.  It only takes a moment to lose it but when we labor to keep it our lives will benefit as well as those lives we are linked to.

The battle is not an easy one and Lord I pray for Your strength to help me to press through.  I may get bruised and bloodied in the process but the victory will be mine and I will be stronger from it.  May these mental assaults prepare me to be like a seasoned soldier who can walk out a valiant life here on earth and reflect Your glory to all I meet and come across.  May these experiences enrich and encourage the lives of others and in turn their lives can bless others and so forth.  Let Your dominoes fall but not for the collapse of Your people but to the connection of us all throughout the world.  Help us to take our thoughts captive to the loving obedience of Christ who is our strength!  Let us kick out these peace snatchers and live with renewed minds so our lights will shine and Your love will permeate the world.

Everyone has a story

Whenever I am driving or out and about doing the mundane tasks in life I cross the path's of many people.  So often I get so caught up in my task that I miss them.  How many people do we pass by every day?  And with those how many do we acknowledge?  And for those we acknowledge, how many do we consider?  My point is that every one has a story.  That person who cuts you off may be distracted with some pressing situation or just distracted because of their own daily agenda.  That burnt out cashier who doesn't even acknowledge you in any fashion of real interest may be having a very bad day or maybe has just been feeling just as invisible by their customers.  What about the rude person who cut in front of you in line?  They may have a bad marriage at home, a kid on drugs, a sick parent and are just at their whits end in stress because they are trying to take on the entire load by themselves.  Now I'm not saying these are always the cases, but what I am saying is that EVERYONE has a story.

My prayer is that I take notice of the people I pass by.  May I be sensitive to them as fellow humans and offer them kindness, a warm smile, a sincere greeting and even my place in line.  I hope to be patient and not in a rush to save myself an extra minute when I can and should sometimes give it to someone else.  Let my eyes see others with value rather than seeing myself as more valued than them.  Tug at my heart for those who may need some kind words, a genuine complement or just an aknowledgment that they are not invisible.  Maybe You can let me share a word of encouragement to someone who needs to know You care.  Whatever the situation, I pray I will be available to be Your hands or Your voice to share Your heart to these precious beings You created.  Let me be a vessel to showcase Your beautiful Love as I go about my daily duties.  May the menial tasks become missions of Your goodness.

A new generation

I thank God for our youth.  They are creative, intelligent, outgoing, and a spark for our future.  We must encourage them, strengthen them with love and support, and pray for them.  They are growing up in a world that seems to be against them and they need hope.  These young people are our hope for the future and they need to have hope.  Lord, let them radiate a rainbow of goodness on the earth.  Let us help them to find their gifts and talents and encourage them to pursue their dreams.

When I see the many creative ideas on youtube, tumblr, etsy and pinterest posted by this young and vibrant generation I am amazed!  They are full of ideas and talents and individuality that must be cultivated like a precious garden so they can bring in a bountiful harvest of goodness!

There is too much discouragement put upon these young people.  None of these youth should be tossed out of society as if they have no value.  Maybe because they feel they do not matter they put up walls around their hearts and display hardness and callousness to others.  But there are many, many more who are just hungering to be reassured that they matter and have worth in our society because some day they will be the leaders and idealists for their youth.  Raise up this generation Lord to be an army of Your Light and Love in this world! Raise up courageous adventurers with hearts full of passion and integrity!

blowing bubbles of thanksgiving

There's so much sorrow and suffering in the world.  Heaven must certainly be bombarded with prayers from broken and shattered hearts every day.  What if instead we could blow up the Heavens with praises and thanksgiving for our many blessings.  Could this bring a balance into the world that is being inundated with darkness?  One can hardly believe the cruelty humans can inflict upon one another.  Maybe if we can lift up our voices and thoughts and hearts to God and thank Him for the many splendors He has given us that we take for granted we can bring down His glory to break the darkness with His light and love!

We are surrounded every day with noise:  cell phones; computers;  televisions;  ipods;  cars; people; life in general.  The noise of our worries and circumstances overwhelm us and we naturally want to escape to more noise.  I pray we can stop and listen.  Stop and shut our eyes and tune out the man made noise and distractions.  Stop and take our thoughts to those beautiful events in our lives, or even to the sounds of God's creation all around us.  Can we take time to breathe in the air, or feel the breeze or rain drops on our faces?  Can we listen to the magnificence and power of the tides or great winds, the thunder and lightning and realize there's something greater and bigger than us out there.  What about the symphony of the trees dancing in the breeze as their leaves rustle and the birds sing their song in harmony?

Isn't the sky so vast and big and full of displays of splendor and majesty?  Is not life a great miracle in that we are these incredible machines that function and are so intricate in design?  How is it we have the ability to love and laugh, to cry and hunger and feel joy and sorrow?

There is a delight in seeing people holding hands as they stroll past us.  The love of an elderly couple walking side by side having shared decades together weathering the storms of life together and holding onto a bond deeper than we can possibly fathom.  The love of a mother holding her child and wiping away their tears and the power she has to give the child hope that everything is all better because of her compassion and kisses.  There is joy in listening to the laughter of children playing because they have no cares in the world and life is meant for adventures and nothing else matters.  The world is theirs to conquer!

There is just so much to be grateful for!  Everywhere there is still light and goodness in the world and we must sometimes fight to see it when it feels like the world is falling apart all around us.  I think it is tragic when we forget to stop and see the treasures right before our very eyes.  Lord, open our eyes to see Your many gifts that we may have hope and find peace even in the midst of our own storms.  The sun always shines again if we take time to just soak in its rays of life and find our rejuvenation once again.

Yes, we have much to be thankful for.

We've lost our way...

Jesus, forgive Your church.  My heart grieves over how lost we've become.  There are those who rejoice that the world hates us, yet it isn't because we are without fault like You were Lord.  It's because we are at fault.  The world hates us because we have been without love towards them or even worse towards one another.  In Your Word you said "If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. ..."  But You did good while you were in the world.  I know there are members of the Church that indeed ARE doing many good things.  But the part of the Body in the Western world is lukewarm, self involved, compromising, legalistic, self-righteous, critical, judgmental and without love.  They don't love themselves with the Love You've given us Lord!  We need You!!!  Forgive us Lord, we don't mean to be so ignorant in our ways.  We think we're doing right, but without understanding our worth to You we have gotten it all mixed up.  

We are a confused Body Lord.  Please enlighten us with Your heart towards us that we may reflect Your Love towards others.  Jesus, you never badgered, condemned, criticised or belittled the lost.  You loved them into Your Kingdom.  We need to be like You.  Give our hearts compassion again Lord.  Help us to forgive ourselves even so that we can extend that forgiveness outwards towards others.  Help us to cover over offenses rather than to take them on.  Humble our hearts towards Your heart Lord and give us eyes to see others as You see them.  You love those who hate you Lord and we too must love those same people.  

Forgive us Lord for our division.  The world sees we are divided and how can they possibly believe we have any answers at all when we build our earthly sanctuaries right next door to eachother and are without fellowship?!  God we have lost our way and taken a degree off course some time ago and now we are so far away from our original destination.  Lead us back on course that we may be partakers and distributors of Your glory here on earth and advance Your Kingdom.  Raise up Your people Lord to be a light in the world as You said we were to be!  Draw us together and may the world see this unity growing.  

If they are to hate us, let it be because we are a light that exposes the darkness, not because we offer them no hope.  We need to point to You in love, unity, with moral excellence and integrity Lord.  Help us to live lives of such love and goodness that You smile upon Your people and the world is affected by Your glory!

You have given us the Keys to Your Kingdom Lord, let us remember how to use them!